Well I must say that the first month of the semester has been busy and packed to say the least. There has been good and bad, along with surprises at the different bends which in a way affect me, but also do not.
So to work backwards in a way, with what I remember the most recently I suppose: this past weekend at Brockport was quite the rollercoaster. Laughter and chaos filled most of it for me. On Friday, after work I spent an hour trying to get books on dreams, gypsies, and maenads/Bacchanalia. The books on dreams, my best friend and I had hoped would maybe help us figure out what the hell was up with my reoccurring dream I had Thursday night; my suicidal type dreams have started back up, so needless to say, I texted Steph while I was in Theatre, freaking out. Now, I’m not going to go into detail about my dream, because I prefer to think about it as little as possible. All I can say is that approximately eight dream catchers hanging over my bed, antidepressants, and happy thoughts don’t work magic all the time; nightmares can still find you.
Later, Friday night, my friends Crystal, Tameka, Daisy, Hakeem, and I all went to the midnight movie. Crystal and I saw I Am Number Four, while the others saw that new Jennifer Aniston movie. Oh my God, the movie was fucking awesome! I will keep my lips zipped though, in case others wish to see it and don’t want spoilers. I will say that I almost got myself in trouble with all the sexual cracks I was making; I am definitely a single girl that has no life anymore.
When we came back from the midnight movie, I’ll admit that I was wearing just a sweatshirt and flip-flops as opposed to winter attire, but it was one of those days that it’s not really winter, just windy. And yes, after my roommates passed out, people could see (that for the first time in a long while,) that I was on the Facebook chat. Who was on too? That would be my ex that is over doing a tour in the Middle East; yes, I do end up talking to him every few months. Every few months I find out new things, and unfortunately, he wears on you like a weed that never dies. You know, like an immortal dandelion. One of the things he told me, that I’m still not sure what to think about, is that he’s probably going to attend SUNY College at Brockport in the fall of 2012, part time. First words out of my mouth, but not what I replied: Holy Bloody Fucking Hell! So what do you do if your ex, that yeah, you may think about on and off tells you he will be attending your college the last year you’re there? If you figure that out, I’d like to know. I hate admitting it…but damn that boy was good with his lips…
Just more that leads to the fucked-up-ness of my mind; but before some of you go thinking that you can blame him for any of my issues, you can’t. I have enough issues, and I take responsibility…so don’t be like some people in my who like to find some other reason to explain why I am messed up other than who I am. I have problems, I know that, and I respect people that accept that.
On Saturday, I was pissed off as was most of those on campus, because we had a blackout for eighteen hours. Can I just say how much that sucks? My suitemates and I evacuated to Hakeem’s, which was nice to have…but I still wasn’t happy with it. I’d rather have been able to sit in my little hole watching “Dr. Quinn” on my laptop as I wrote my fiction piece; instead, I dealt with noise in order to have heat and running water. And instead of my comfy bed with all my pillows, Tameka and I got to share his couch, curled up on one cushion per person. Note to Brockport, you have another blackout; I want to know ahead of time so that way I cannot sleep at all before it happens, that way I can get some actual work done. Eh, I guess I’m just still resentful, because the stupid blackout put me behind schedule, so I had to skip approximately five to ten pages worth of vital information for my Fiction piece that was due on Monday, in order to fulfill the damn deadline.
And now I just don’t feel like talking anymore, even though a lot of stuff has happened since I came back for this semester; and I had originally wanted to comment on the places, classes, and people that have come about. I guess my biggest thing is, right now, I just don’t know when or what to care about anymore. Only time I’ve been slightly okay in the past four weeks is when I’ve gone to the movies or gone over to Nikki’s. I’m just not sure what to do anymore…well, I suppose I may either go to dinner with my normal people and maybe the midnight movie to see I Am Number Four a second time, or go to a party with Nikki that is actually in Brockport. I also have to go to the one play this semester that I wasn’t really intrigued about, this weekend for my theatre class. Hmm…just sitting here and maybe playing around with my guitar sounds like a nice option for some point…may or may not happen.
I suppose I’m going to either work on homework or watch "The Vampire Diaries" episode from last night…maybe both. Until I get the chance again, and/or am actually up to doing another entry…talk to ya’ll later.
