http://alysemichelegardner.tumblr.com/
http://twitter.com/#!/AlwaysAlyse
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Alyse-M-Gardner/105797549504496
http://alysemgardner.blogspot.com/
Wednesday, November 02, 2011
Monday, May 30, 2011
My "Website"
check out my website which is where i post most of my writing and stuff related to it:
http://alysemgardner.blogspot.com/
http://alysemgardner.blogspot.com/
Monday, May 02, 2011
my "website"
So I have been promoting my writing to further my career. here is my "website". http://alysemgardner.blogspot.com/
Friday, February 25, 2011
A Yummy Alien, An Ex, & A Blackout
Well I must say that the first month of the semester has been busy and packed to say the least. There has been good and bad, along with surprises at the different bends which in a way affect me, but also do not.
So to work backwards in a way, with what I remember the most recently I suppose: this past weekend at Brockport was quite the rollercoaster. Laughter and chaos filled most of it for me. On Friday, after work I spent an hour trying to get books on dreams, gypsies, and maenads/Bacchanalia. The books on dreams, my best friend and I had hoped would maybe help us figure out what the hell was up with my reoccurring dream I had Thursday night; my suicidal type dreams have started back up, so needless to say, I texted Steph while I was in Theatre, freaking out. Now, I’m not going to go into detail about my dream, because I prefer to think about it as little as possible. All I can say is that approximately eight dream catchers hanging over my bed, antidepressants, and happy thoughts don’t work magic all the time; nightmares can still find you.
Later, Friday night, my friends Crystal, Tameka, Daisy, Hakeem, and I all went to the midnight movie. Crystal and I saw I Am Number Four, while the others saw that new Jennifer Aniston movie. Oh my God, the movie was fucking awesome! I will keep my lips zipped though, in case others wish to see it and don’t want spoilers. I will say that I almost got myself in trouble with all the sexual cracks I was making; I am definitely a single girl that has no life anymore.
When we came back from the midnight movie, I’ll admit that I was wearing just a sweatshirt and flip-flops as opposed to winter attire, but it was one of those days that it’s not really winter, just windy. And yes, after my roommates passed out, people could see (that for the first time in a long while,) that I was on the Facebook chat. Who was on too? That would be my ex that is over doing a tour in the Middle East; yes, I do end up talking to him every few months. Every few months I find out new things, and unfortunately, he wears on you like a weed that never dies. You know, like an immortal dandelion. One of the things he told me, that I’m still not sure what to think about, is that he’s probably going to attend SUNY College at Brockport in the fall of 2012, part time. First words out of my mouth, but not what I replied: Holy Bloody Fucking Hell! So what do you do if your ex, that yeah, you may think about on and off tells you he will be attending your college the last year you’re there? If you figure that out, I’d like to know. I hate admitting it…but damn that boy was good with his lips…
Just more that leads to the fucked-up-ness of my mind; but before some of you go thinking that you can blame him for any of my issues, you can’t. I have enough issues, and I take responsibility…so don’t be like some people in my who like to find some other reason to explain why I am messed up other than who I am. I have problems, I know that, and I respect people that accept that.
On Saturday, I was pissed off as was most of those on campus, because we had a blackout for eighteen hours. Can I just say how much that sucks? My suitemates and I evacuated to Hakeem’s, which was nice to have…but I still wasn’t happy with it. I’d rather have been able to sit in my little hole watching “Dr. Quinn” on my laptop as I wrote my fiction piece; instead, I dealt with noise in order to have heat and running water. And instead of my comfy bed with all my pillows, Tameka and I got to share his couch, curled up on one cushion per person. Note to Brockport, you have another blackout; I want to know ahead of time so that way I cannot sleep at all before it happens, that way I can get some actual work done. Eh, I guess I’m just still resentful, because the stupid blackout put me behind schedule, so I had to skip approximately five to ten pages worth of vital information for my Fiction piece that was due on Monday, in order to fulfill the damn deadline.
And now I just don’t feel like talking anymore, even though a lot of stuff has happened since I came back for this semester; and I had originally wanted to comment on the places, classes, and people that have come about. I guess my biggest thing is, right now, I just don’t know when or what to care about anymore. Only time I’ve been slightly okay in the past four weeks is when I’ve gone to the movies or gone over to Nikki’s. I’m just not sure what to do anymore…well, I suppose I may either go to dinner with my normal people and maybe the midnight movie to see I Am Number Four a second time, or go to a party with Nikki that is actually in Brockport. I also have to go to the one play this semester that I wasn’t really intrigued about, this weekend for my theatre class. Hmm…just sitting here and maybe playing around with my guitar sounds like a nice option for some point…may or may not happen.
I suppose I’m going to either work on homework or watch "The Vampire Diaries" episode from last night…maybe both. Until I get the chance again, and/or am actually up to doing another entry…talk to ya’ll later.
So to work backwards in a way, with what I remember the most recently I suppose: this past weekend at Brockport was quite the rollercoaster. Laughter and chaos filled most of it for me. On Friday, after work I spent an hour trying to get books on dreams, gypsies, and maenads/Bacchanalia. The books on dreams, my best friend and I had hoped would maybe help us figure out what the hell was up with my reoccurring dream I had Thursday night; my suicidal type dreams have started back up, so needless to say, I texted Steph while I was in Theatre, freaking out. Now, I’m not going to go into detail about my dream, because I prefer to think about it as little as possible. All I can say is that approximately eight dream catchers hanging over my bed, antidepressants, and happy thoughts don’t work magic all the time; nightmares can still find you.
Later, Friday night, my friends Crystal, Tameka, Daisy, Hakeem, and I all went to the midnight movie. Crystal and I saw I Am Number Four, while the others saw that new Jennifer Aniston movie. Oh my God, the movie was fucking awesome! I will keep my lips zipped though, in case others wish to see it and don’t want spoilers. I will say that I almost got myself in trouble with all the sexual cracks I was making; I am definitely a single girl that has no life anymore.
When we came back from the midnight movie, I’ll admit that I was wearing just a sweatshirt and flip-flops as opposed to winter attire, but it was one of those days that it’s not really winter, just windy. And yes, after my roommates passed out, people could see (that for the first time in a long while,) that I was on the Facebook chat. Who was on too? That would be my ex that is over doing a tour in the Middle East; yes, I do end up talking to him every few months. Every few months I find out new things, and unfortunately, he wears on you like a weed that never dies. You know, like an immortal dandelion. One of the things he told me, that I’m still not sure what to think about, is that he’s probably going to attend SUNY College at Brockport in the fall of 2012, part time. First words out of my mouth, but not what I replied: Holy Bloody Fucking Hell! So what do you do if your ex, that yeah, you may think about on and off tells you he will be attending your college the last year you’re there? If you figure that out, I’d like to know. I hate admitting it…but damn that boy was good with his lips…
Just more that leads to the fucked-up-ness of my mind; but before some of you go thinking that you can blame him for any of my issues, you can’t. I have enough issues, and I take responsibility…so don’t be like some people in my who like to find some other reason to explain why I am messed up other than who I am. I have problems, I know that, and I respect people that accept that.
On Saturday, I was pissed off as was most of those on campus, because we had a blackout for eighteen hours. Can I just say how much that sucks? My suitemates and I evacuated to Hakeem’s, which was nice to have…but I still wasn’t happy with it. I’d rather have been able to sit in my little hole watching “Dr. Quinn” on my laptop as I wrote my fiction piece; instead, I dealt with noise in order to have heat and running water. And instead of my comfy bed with all my pillows, Tameka and I got to share his couch, curled up on one cushion per person. Note to Brockport, you have another blackout; I want to know ahead of time so that way I cannot sleep at all before it happens, that way I can get some actual work done. Eh, I guess I’m just still resentful, because the stupid blackout put me behind schedule, so I had to skip approximately five to ten pages worth of vital information for my Fiction piece that was due on Monday, in order to fulfill the damn deadline.
And now I just don’t feel like talking anymore, even though a lot of stuff has happened since I came back for this semester; and I had originally wanted to comment on the places, classes, and people that have come about. I guess my biggest thing is, right now, I just don’t know when or what to care about anymore. Only time I’ve been slightly okay in the past four weeks is when I’ve gone to the movies or gone over to Nikki’s. I’m just not sure what to do anymore…well, I suppose I may either go to dinner with my normal people and maybe the midnight movie to see I Am Number Four a second time, or go to a party with Nikki that is actually in Brockport. I also have to go to the one play this semester that I wasn’t really intrigued about, this weekend for my theatre class. Hmm…just sitting here and maybe playing around with my guitar sounds like a nice option for some point…may or may not happen.
I suppose I’m going to either work on homework or watch "The Vampire Diaries" episode from last night…maybe both. Until I get the chance again, and/or am actually up to doing another entry…talk to ya’ll later.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Before the New Semester
So tomorrow is the first day of work and classes for my fourth semester of college; once I finish this semester, I will be half way done with school. It's a little scary to think since I'm 19 and yeah, high school feels like it ended like five years ago instead of two, but hell...when I graduate I think I may move to Nashville for a few years. Things go faster than you think. Everything seems like it happened further in the past than it actually has, so half way point equals somewhat intimidating.
Yesterday, I went to Liftbridge to pick up my textbooks, which always makes my stomach turn. Most of the books you get, you don't want to really keep afterward (yes, I have kept some in the past, but you sell most of the books...unless it happens to be like when I took Ancient History and Classical Mythology a year ago; seriously, loved!). A little over four hundred dollars for eight books for six classes. Ew. Really really ew. That's two months worth of paychecks. Sheesh.
I'm nervous for the new semester and really only looking forward to two of my six classes: fiction workshop and child psychology. On top of picking up a sixth class while I have always done five, I am also picking up the max that I am allowed to work as a work study student. That's eighteen hours worth of classes and ten hours stuck in the stacks at the library. I also hope to start working out and try and get into counseling. Lots of work and stress, but the good news is that is cuts down on time to worry about men (I hope). I sincerely want 2011 to be better for me than 2010 was. I don't want the guy troubles that I had last year (I only am happy with the memories with one of the guys, but he has been a character in my life for four in a half years and is special in many ways). I don't want as many breakdowns as I had. I want a little less family drama, which probably is wishful thinking. I want to actually learn something and make some changes. Yes, I plan on having fun with my friends, especially all of my girls when I can. I already started taking steps with some of the stuff and have some of the other mapped out a little. I'm hopeful. And I have the love and support of my girls; if I fall, I know they're going to be there for me.
Crossing my fingers and sayin' my prayers that I make it through this first week alive. Kicking of the first day with Theatre, French, work, and Fiction Workshop...then dinner with two of my roomies and my best friend.
Yesterday, I went to Liftbridge to pick up my textbooks, which always makes my stomach turn. Most of the books you get, you don't want to really keep afterward (yes, I have kept some in the past, but you sell most of the books...unless it happens to be like when I took Ancient History and Classical Mythology a year ago; seriously, loved!). A little over four hundred dollars for eight books for six classes. Ew. Really really ew. That's two months worth of paychecks. Sheesh.
I'm nervous for the new semester and really only looking forward to two of my six classes: fiction workshop and child psychology. On top of picking up a sixth class while I have always done five, I am also picking up the max that I am allowed to work as a work study student. That's eighteen hours worth of classes and ten hours stuck in the stacks at the library. I also hope to start working out and try and get into counseling. Lots of work and stress, but the good news is that is cuts down on time to worry about men (I hope). I sincerely want 2011 to be better for me than 2010 was. I don't want the guy troubles that I had last year (I only am happy with the memories with one of the guys, but he has been a character in my life for four in a half years and is special in many ways). I don't want as many breakdowns as I had. I want a little less family drama, which probably is wishful thinking. I want to actually learn something and make some changes. Yes, I plan on having fun with my friends, especially all of my girls when I can. I already started taking steps with some of the stuff and have some of the other mapped out a little. I'm hopeful. And I have the love and support of my girls; if I fall, I know they're going to be there for me.
Crossing my fingers and sayin' my prayers that I make it through this first week alive. Kicking of the first day with Theatre, French, work, and Fiction Workshop...then dinner with two of my roomies and my best friend.
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