So it is the end of my third semester in college and everyone is leaving or already left college to head home for their winter breaks. I don't know about others, but my nerd antics generally tend to make me love a good education, and I am generally quite open to learning or experiencing new things. As a writer, I like that anything that I do or learn, I can one day incorporate into what I write. Writers write what they know, whether it be something obscure or minuscule or whatever. I however, have spent the entire semester trying to wrack my brain to figure out if there is something that I have actually learned from the classes I took; I'm not really sure that I have...unless it is all buried deep in my subconscious just to come out when I'm in old age talking to people and telling them about what they can gain from knowing some dead philosopher's view on anger (I just learned it this semester, and have already forgotten the name, even though approximately three people in my introductory class gave a presentation on it).
I took five classes this semester, and don't know how much any of them really provide a use to me aside from getting me a step closer to graduation two in a half years from now. Two of them were towards my Creative Writing major and one for my Women and Gender Studies minor...yay, check check and check on the list of completion. Let's see here: Intro to Philosophy was a total bore aside from the random Youtube videos we would watch before class began almost everyday (should go look for college guys singing Lady Gaga, that was probably the best video we watched and that actually sticks in my head, unlike the videos we watched on Theism versus Atheism. Another cute video that is good just to give a small smile for your day is one that concerns a shell in shoes. Seriously, check it out). I am not a person who totally loves to argue, so learning fallacies just goes straight over my head and a complete waste of my time. Really, the only thing most of us got from weeks on that subject is: It's immoral because it's immoral; pretty much, all double-negatives. The only plus was that the teacher was nice instead of like some douchebags that I have encountered before, and wasn't one of those philosophers who try to force you to change your views. He was actually nice and sometimes entertaining, and a young professor (anyone want a teacher that's easy on the eyes?). So if you actually do like philosophy and think that you can grasp the concepts, then yeah, I would suggest taking Intro with Alex Krantz...he'll try to make sure you pass too.
Poetry writer's workshop...yeah, that class sucked so much for most of us that I literally created a Facebook group half way through the semester so that we could all bitch, moan, and make fun of everything. The group was also a lot easier then trying to depend on everyone to communicate on the classes internet page. Poetry is not that challenging for many people that read a lot and have been writing poems or songs for more than half of their life (like me). The teacher was weird, at least I can say it in a good way. Seriously though, like my friend Jamie from class said when I stopped by her jewelery sale the last week of classes...we handed in our stupid portfolios that all of us bullshitted revisions for, stop making us stay there longer when we have better things to do with our time. We don't want to sit there reading the revisions to the rest of the group and get irritated into the readings because you otherwise start giving oral versions of long dead poets in disturbing accents. I really don't think that they spoke like that, and I would rather jump out the third story window into a snow bank then listen to you. I wanted to learn new forms of writing poetry...not learn that people who are snobby little sticks that sit on their laptop the entire class think that they are better and find fault in every line and stanza. I already new that people can be asses, there's really no need to take a class when I can be an ass to my own work. If I want others' opinions on a piece, I'll ask...but I DON'T CARE! When I take a writing class, I want to be challenged...I don't learn anything if I am not somewhat challenged; and the only poem that we did that helped me actually progress a bit was where we had to steal words and write in a certain pentameter; the teacher only did that once though, and so I pretty much spent no time or work on anything after that. The poem that I was challenged with however, was a very good sensual piece that pretty much a lot of people liked and got laughs out of (one of my friends that hate love poems even liked it, and I also got to show off my mythology background). The poem actually got rewritten shortly after and taken after the pentameter scheme and was submitted to my college's literary magazine...maybe it will get published in it, maybe it won't, either way, I'm pretty damn happy with what I came up with.
I can say however, with my other English class, I found a whole new level of the word "Romantic." Here's the news with that...it ain't mushy gushy stuff that makes me want to vomit like St. Valentine's day does. I actually learned that it is being a nonconformist, becoming an individual, and what human "nature" and the idea of a soul actually may consist of. I seriously had never heard of this Pre-Civil War movement until now, and it's rather intriguing to say the least...for what I was able to grasp anyway. I'm actually trying to work on my twelve page research for that class that is supposed to be due by tonight via turnitin.com, and I'm not getting very far...I think because I spent all of last night trying to work on the two short papers I also had for this class; and my brain is totally fried after a semester of school and little sleep. My professor for that class though, he is quite understanding and willing to work with you to get to where you want to go in the mind-set; like for instance, we finished off the class with Nathaniel Hawthorne's The House of the Seven Gables, which was actually the book furthest from essay-formatted writing we have read all semester. And aside from the books by Fern and Douglass, the only one that I could actually get into and get something out of. Anyway, Garvey (my prof), had one whole idea of direction in and thoughts on this book...and after a semester with my class, now has a completely different view (we pretty much pulverized his original view and forced him to look at it in a less romantic way). Anyway, I'm working on my research paper, which I have a solid idea of what I want to work with, but I am having a hard time figuring out what to write on the paper and the number of pages looms over my head; I hate that, and I plan on getting the paper done before I head to my parents this weekend...but if I don't get it done by exactly 10pm tonight, fuck it. I'm going to make it a decent paper and fuck to the deadline. I actually like the topic (Fanny Fern's Influence on Feminist/Women Writing); I love how my subject breaks so many of the social standards in her time, and is actually one of the reasons why women like me or even other writers in general, are able to get away with writing the way that we do (full of bluntness, cynicism, and sarcasm...alas, a woman after my heart!). I will always remember this class at least, and if the opportunity arises to work with Garvey again, I will...he makes me laugh my ass off with his comments such as how "we are just like monkeys that get to drive cars" and that he "has a right to be stoned" even though he was, and was just fighting pneumonia. And I believe that he is the first teach since high school that has yelled at me for my non-wavering stare while he talks.
I also took a psychology class this fall semester because to me, it is the easiest science and I love learning about the human psyche. How else can we learn to understand ourselves, others, or the characters we make if we don't know what makes them tick? Anyway, it was one of two of my first night classes ever, and dealt with the subject of Adolescence. You want to learn about your teenagers, or be forced to think about who you were in high school...then great way to start thinking about it. I wanted to hide my head amongst the what, hundred or so students in the lecture hall, when he talked about family or dating/relationships. Chuck was a riot to listen to, even though he sometimes talked about things I did not see how they related to the course (Ed from that talking horse show back when my parents were kids, and his days in the military...), but even though the three hours once a week were hard to stay awake with since it was my longest day, I actually really liked the course, and it started opening up some of the past information I have learned in the past in a slightly larger emphasis. Now if only I could have shushed some of those people that didn't shut up and just loved to hear themselves talk....I'm sorry, but to the one girl: you ain't the only farm girl out there, so don't joke yourself into thinking that you are so special; girl with the laptop lying that she wasn't on facebook: you don't know what the heck you're talking about, and no one even cares...we would have learned more if I had the chance to duct tape your face; and poor poor Henry...you should have known better after the cat warning that one night on opposing Chuck right off (but if you're interested, I know a girl perfect for you).
Finally, I took Victimology...which was by far the best class I took all semester and wish I could continue delving deeper into the subjects. Yes, I left almost each class wanting to cry or throw up my dinner, but for someone that is carried by their emotions and cares a lot...it struck home. It helped me get a little bit over my fear/detestation of cops and allowed me to ride around my town for a few hours in the front of one of the cop cars and learn a lot...granted, it was awkward for the fact that almost every person the officers mentioned, I happen to know or have heard of. Yay for living in a small town and having a large family in which everyone knows you, even if you don't know them. And aside from the obvious and most common sensical reasons, I NEVER want to get raped or have anyone get raped, because seriously...have you heard of the steps that you go through to have a rape test done...? I sat there cringing at the number of hairs that get yanked. But aside from that, I know some things I didn't before, and if my writing career isn't everything I love or maybe just because...I seriously am contemplating volunteering in a crisis center of some kind or seeing what I'd have to do to become an advocate....
Like with every semester, I have made new friends, had a few laughs...but will jumping to the ceiling with excitement once I send in this last paper for the Fall. When you and your friends start taking laser pointers and shine them across the way into other buildings (causing some people to start dancing or waving from their windows) or you sit in the common room for "story time" listening to bloopers from papers, exams, and whatever that someone compiled into a book to show just how stupid us college students can become, you know that you are going beyond the point of caring and super stressing...into the point of bridging insanity because your brain is just starting to stutter from all of the pressure. The sad thing is, is that after a week off school, we will all be screaming to leave our home towns and beg to come back to the school, because we want our freedom, independence, parties, and away from the negative hold-you-downers from where we once went to high school. I cannot wait to get back to my parents so that I can just take Benedryl and sleep for a few days, and see my favorite nephew who is the main reason I smile and makes me remember what makes life worth living, and maybe see some of the few friends I actually have maintained and still like...and then celebrate my favorite holiday even though I may sometimes be a scrooge, and then usher in the new year...because, I don't know about anyone else, but I love the idea of a new beginning or new start...and even if I didn't, I cannot wait for 2010 to be over, and have that year of mistakes or anxiety and whatever else...behind me. On the other hand...I want the five weeks off to go by fast so that I can be back with my college buds and do whatever I please, and my other reasons; I know I will be going on my other extreme of insanity after just a couple of days back home...but what is home anyway anymore, 'cause I haven't felt like there is ONE home for me anymore since I started college over a year ago...I'm split...but I can tell you one thing...I will find that when I graduate, even if I've got to make it.
To those of you that go to college, enjoy your break off school while you can...you won't have that many more, and will one day not really have breaks unless you opt to not have a job.
To those of you who have family in college, enjoy them while they're home...because you don't know how much they will be around when they say so long to college and decide to move half-way around the world or something.
And to any of you in general, have a good holiday season. Enjoy those that you love, those that care...realize what you have to be thankful for. Take stock of what matters and maybe what you want down the road. Remember that Christmas ain't about taking and all of the materialistic things that stores want us to believe and that some have forgotten...it is about giving, love, family, friends, and knowing that even the little things matter. Whatever your background or whatnot, your human and there are people who have some things that you do not and you may take for granted, so don't take it for granted for one day if you can help it.
Love what you have; dream for a future, and 2011 will be here before you know it.
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